I took the kids to Sainsburys last week to get some supplies. For Non-UK readers, Sainsbury’s is a supermarket – one of the big four or five chains in the UK.
So I had the kids stuffed in the trolley, sitting among the groceries and because it took me longer than it did Bletchley Park to crack the Enigma code to make out what my wife had written on the shopping list they were getting bored and hungry.
So I went to the bakery section where by chance they’d just baked a new batch of crusty French bread. It was still warm so I grabbed a couple of sticks and tore some up so we could munch as we shopped. I put one whole stick and a part-eaten stick into the trolley so I could pay for it along with the rest of the groceries as we left the store.
Within seconds a woman with ‘I’m Janet – How Can I Help?’ written on a badge on her Sainsbury’s uniform marched up to me with a face like a bag of spanners and an attitude to match.
She then proceeded to give me a lecture about how I shouldn’t eat bread that I hadn’t paid for yet. I initially thought this was funny until I glanced at my little girl slowly stopping chewing and looking guiltily at the piece of bread in her hand.
Which is when I lost it. I kept my voice steady despite being furiously angry and explained to this women exactly whereabouts in the food chain I thought she was, and if she had any sense of business she’d realise that every time we came to the store my kids yelled for fresh bread thus making more profit for her employers.
But no.
Resisting the urge to tear the bread up into tiny pieces and scatter it around the bakery section while doing a mad dance I walked away, having made my opinion of her clear.
Now I WAS in the wrong, but there are ways of explaining things, and anyone with common sense could see I wasn’t about to eat half a baguette than put the rest back in the rack (although maybe next time I visit….)
Transfer the whole scenario to Internet Marketing and we see a strange thing.
People complain about the pettiest little things – slight mis-spellings in bolgs and repots, or a web page that takes a little too long to load.
What we REALLY should be complaining about are the things that nobody seems to notice in Internet Marketing – it’s like the emperor’s new clothes – nobody else says anything so nothing gets said at all. The HUGEST things are therefore ignored.
I’m talking about the multi millionaire marketers who launch $1,000 software before it works properly, or the super afilliates who entice you to buy the latest thousand dollar products through them by promising huge bonuses which never arrive.
Following the carbohydrate analogy, let’s get to what’s wrong with the bread and butter of IM – forget the little things that just annoy and concentrate on shouting about the BIG rip-offs that cost thousands of dollars.
If you want to have a good moan and find out what’s being said about IM by real IM’ers rather than guru’s or their butt buddies then go to www.guruscamforum.com and log in – it’s free, you won’t get any sales emails so just introduce yourslef and say hello to some of the smartest marketers around. Quite a few are online friends (which is why I don’t delete the posts where they take the pee out of me)
You’re more than welcome to join us.
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First of all – what would have happened had you/your kids eaten all the bread before you got to the checkout? (And, trust me, I could easily eat a fresh baguette going round my local Sainsburys). The woman who berated you was right. You were wrong. Sorry, but until you paid for it you had no right to eat it.
And, yes, I’m a grumpy old man. But I’m even more grumpy when I see the rip offs perpetrated by Internet Marketing gurus. And that’s why I frequent the guruscamforum.
You see, if you’d bought a packet of chocolate digestives and found that the packet contained nothing but crumbs you’d have a valid argument. If you’d bought them from a Guru they would have told you it wouldn’t matter – you could still eat them – even though you didn’t get what it said on the packet.
Oh, by the way, you aren’t safe from having the pee taken – even here!
Phil – You grumpy old fart!
Rules are there to be broken – especially if they involve bread. I had every right to eat it as far as I’m concerned and next time I’m going to put a napkin round my neck and do it while staring into the security camera.
As for gurus and crumbs – you should be grateful for every single crumb they throw at you and prepared to pay any amount they ask for the priveledge!
And just in case anyone wonders why I’m letting this old git take the pee out of my on my own blog -he’s worth it. One of the best moderators at http://www.guruscamforum.com
If you’d like to know what that’s about and possible get some abuse from Phil please take this as a personal invitation to join now.
Haha, well said Tony, I’ve lost count how many software packages I’ve bought when it doesn’t work properly (ahem, mark joyner, ahem) and affiliates that promised the world (*cough* jeremy burns *cough*) in bonuses.
Suffice to say I will not buy from either.
But I met a very well known marketer once in Florida (he lives in Orlando, I was in Orlando, so I asked if we could meet). His one bit of advice was “just launch the thing bugs and all, get the money and fix it later”. Makes you wonder…
First off in defense of Janet – She was only doing her job! Her badge said “How can I help YOU” – Why didn’t you ask for some butter for the bread 😉
Eating a French stick is part of shopping isn’t it? I’ve never ever managed to get to the check out (till) with a whole stick, isn’t that why they make the bag smaller than the stick so you eat some of it and have to pay for it? (Not that you wouldn’t, because you can’t beat the taste of fresh baked bread.)
Those so called, Gurus sell fresh baked bread everyday.
It’s the same temptress methology.
They make you salavate, make you hungry for their freshly baked product …………. and when you’ve spent your hard earned money on it, got through the check out, started to bite into the product and tried to digest it, you realise, you need that butter.
There are too many “bakers” out there wafting their smell of freshly baked bread for people to buy.
I spent my uni years with a badge that said “Leanne – How can I help you” so I know how poor Janet feels. So, next time just ask Janet if you can speak to the manager about staff training, customer loyalty and service. I know you are familiar with these topics because the last product I bought from you I had troubles with the download and FF. You kindly emailed it to me I think 3 times! 🙂
On the upside you were at least able to enjoy your bread. I’ve just paid for some IM crumbs which will not be properly baked (due to technical difficulties) for another couple of weeks. As the guru has this as a monthly membership is he providing a free month or a part refund for a product that’s not working? If you guessed no you are correct. The IM niche sucks (except for a few including you and your sheep) at customer loyalty and satisfaction. It seems once gurus have got a couple of testimonials from their “butt buddies” that’s it.
My rant for the day
Leanne 🙂
Hi Leanne, Hi Janet
Thanks for posting. Guess all of you are firmly on Janet’s side in this one then eh?
Maybe I should go back and apologise for eating my bread before paying.
On your other comments – Leanne – helping you to download a file you had problems with three times wasn’t just customer service, it was out of the question to do anything else because you’d been kind enough to buy from me. The person you speak about who has taken your money and then done nothing to compensate you for HIS mistake is setting himself up for a big fall – you’re already angry about it and have mentioned in on this blog so more and more people will read it and work out who it is.
Thanks again for reading, guys and keep the rants coming!
Tony
Tony, please, there IS a limit.
I just downloaded Worn Paper and on the second page was this: “I could se he was struggling…” I’m sorry, but, come on, run the damn spell check, okay? If you and Sara aren’t willing to take even that small step, how can we be expected to have faith in the BIG stuff? Bottom line: Small stuff matters.
Having said that, you did tell me not to buy anything from you when I asked what I should buy. So it’s touch-and-go, but my intuition sez you guys are okay, you have a net positive…for now.
Be well,
Joe Z
Behind the curve in Rock Hill
Hi Joe,
You’re right about spelling – it shouldn’t have gotten through the net so I apologise for that. You paid for the book and it shoudln’t have happened.
Does the small stuff matter?
Well that’s an individual question – for me it doesn’t but it obviously does to you and you’re the customer and that’s what counts. Again I’m sorry the typo upset you.
Sara would probably leave it there.
Not me mate.
your final ‘….for now’ bugged me because it suggests you’re looking for the ‘catch’ – the ‘scam’ or whatever so you can turn round and justify to yourself that this internet marketing lark is all full of con men and people just out to take you for a ride.
Now that’s just the price we pay for being in this business, but I’ll tell you now Joe if you go looking for the ‘catch’ you’ll find it mate, somewhere or other. Then will you quit? That would be a waste.
Focus on the stuff that moves your business forward.
If you’re not sure about us then go subscribe to some other newsletters/blogs and do a comparison – you might just find some gold…or not.
Please keep the honest posts coming but expect to get em thrown right back at you by me – you’re a valued member of this community, and your opinion is ALWAYS respected even if not agreed with.
You’re always going to get treated like a grown up here too, which is something you might not be used to in internet marketing.
(And again you’re 100% right about the typo) – but you DON’T have to have faith in our stuff – just USE the bloody stuff and you’ll see it works.
Again – sincerely – your comments are ALWAYS welcomed and valued, and I especially enjoyed reading and responding to this one 🙂
Cheers
Tony
Hey Tony,
Couple of things –
Being treated as a grown up, well, I’m old enough to be your father, technically, anyway, so, please, just say what you have to say and not take these little, cheap pokes, okay?
As for the typo, message is not an excuse for sloppiness. Jimmy Brown says it doesn’t matter, his stuff is full of typos, and that’s why I don’t buy into JB’s stuff. Well, that and it’s mostly outdated, cobbed-together junk.
And as for the “for now,” sorry, mate, but either you deliver or I’m out of here. There are restaurants I enjoy, and as long as their food is good I’ll keep going – for now. And right now, having bought only one of your books, it’s like I’ve found a new restaurant; the jury is still out. I’m sorry if that offends you, but for now, I have no real, tangible reason to trust you. Although, you seem mighty tasty.
You caught me with your $2600 blog and your advice to not buy your books. Bottom line for me is a doable business that will pay the bills. I’ve seen a lot of “systems” and I’m looking for one that I can buy into. Because that’s where I’m coming from: Find a system, one system, doesn’t have to be the biggest and baddest, just one, doable system I can buy into.
I think I’ve found it with you, but, well, we’ll see – for now.
Be well,
Joe
Not offended in the slightest Joe – glad to have you.
…and I haven’t had a cheap poke since I was 18.